People talk about growth like it’s always forward and clear. Like you just keep building, keep adding, keep becoming more.

But a lot of the time, it doesn’t feel like that at all.

It feels like letting go. Like parts of you that once made sense don’t quite fit anymore.

I’ve started to realise that growth isn’t just about becoming someone new. It’s also about outgrowing versions of yourself that once did exactly what they needed to do.

The Versions That Got Me Here

There have been different versions of me at different stages.

There was the version of me growing up, sitting in hospital rooms and going through surgery after surgery, where strength meant just getting through the next day. At that point, it wasn’t about long-term vision or big goals. It was about resilience in the moment. Learning how to keep going when things were out of my control.

Then there was the version of me in primary school, dealing with being left out, not picked for games, or feeling like I didn’t quite fit. That version of me learned how to adapt quickly, how to read situations, and how to push through even when it felt uncomfortable socially.

Later, there was the version of me who had something to prove. When I started getting into sport more seriously, especially wheelchair racing, a lot of my mindset was built around showing people what I could do. Proving that the expectations people had of me growing up weren’t going to define where I ended up.

When Saying Yes Stops Serving You

Then came the version of me who said yes to everything.

Speaking opportunities, committees, leadership roles, racing, travel — trying to take every opportunity that came my way because I didn’t want to miss anything. Because for a long time, opportunities didn’t always feel guaranteed.

And then there was the version of me that pushed through everything without stopping. Training blocks, international travel, competitions back-to-back, showing up in rooms where I was speaking or advocating, even when I was tired, because that’s what I thought strength looked like.

None of those versions were wrong.

They were necessary.

Each one built something I needed.

“What gets you to one point doesn’t always take you to the next.”

What Once Worked Doesn’t Always Fit Forever

At some stage, things begin to shift.

You can still do the same things, still show up the same way, but it doesn’t feel the same. What once felt like drive can start to feel like pressure.

Pushing through everything doesn’t always feel like strength anymore. Sometimes it just feels like forcing something that no longer fits.

That’s where it gets uncomfortable.

Because sometimes moving forward means stepping away. Letting go of roles, spaces, or ways of operating that once felt like a big part of who you were.

The Hard Part of Stepping Back

I’ve found that part hard recently.

Some of those decisions have been mine. Choosing to step back from certain commitments, being more selective with what I take on, and realising that constantly saying yes isn’t sustainable.

That just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should.

Other times, it hasn’t been a choice. It’s been about recognising when it’s time to make space for others.

I’ve been in leadership and committee spaces for a number of years, and there comes a point where you realise that growth isn’t just about what you keep doing. It’s also about when you step aside so someone else can step in.

Even when you still care about it.

Even when you still feel connected to it.

That shift is different. It’s not about something ending because it didn’t work. It’s about it ending because it’s time.

And that takes adjustment.

A New Coaching Chapter

One of the biggest shifts for me recently has been around coaching.

I’ve moved into working with a new coach, which wasn’t a small decision. It meant stepping away from something familiar, something that had played a big role in getting me to where I am now.

There’s a mix of gratitude and uncertainty that comes with that.

It feels like a fresh start in some ways, even while carrying everything I’ve already built.

A new environment, new conversations, new ways of doing things. It takes time to settle. You’re learning again, adjusting again, and figuring things out as you go.

But that’s part of it.

Trusting the Unfamiliar

Not everything new feels comfortable straight away. Sometimes it just feels unfamiliar.

And you have to trust that stepping into something different is what allows you to keep moving forward.

“You don’t need to hold onto everything that got you here.”

That doesn’t take away from what it meant.

Those earlier versions still matter. They built the foundation. But you’re allowed to evolve beyond them.

Choosing Intention Over Momentum

Lately, I’ve been more focused on being intentional.

Not doing everything, but doing the right things. Stepping back in some areas so I can show up better in others.

As I look ahead to May, I’m heading to Switzerland to compete across four wheelchair racing competitions, including the World Para Athletics Grand Prix.

It feels like a new chapter. A new coaching setup, and a chance to take everything I’ve been learning and apply it with a different perspective.

It’s not perfectly mapped out, and it doesn’t need to be.

For me, it’s less about having everything figured out, and more about trusting that I’m ready to take the next step.

“The version of me that got me here still matters. But it’s not the version that will take me where I’m going.”